Question of the day | ESL Conversation Lessons

Would you rather text than talk?

Would you rather text or email than talk?

It’s just so easy. I don’t have to interrupt anyone, I can write while I’m in the moment, I don’t have to hold anything in my memory, I don’t even have to wait my turn to talk. When the thought appears, I can just shoot a message off and my counterpart can react when it is convenient for them. In some cases, with my more talkative friends (and family members) a digital message is the only way I can get a word in edgewise.

Plus, I can re-read, check my tone or make sure I didn’t word anything in an insensitive way. I can edit. Digital communication allows me to put forth my best self. Great stuff…right?

Sherry Turkle is not so sure. Her TED talk Connected but Alone? takes a good hard look at what digital communication may be doing to us. We have all heard that technology may be making us more isolated, so beyond this statement, just how it is doing that? Turkle gets right under the hood of our communication habits and puts forth some thought-provoking concepts that definitely gave me pause.

This lesson is definitely for more advanced students. I did this with a mixed class of high-level and lower-level students and the lower level were a bit lost. However, I still recommend using first language material as much as you can to get their ears and minds used to native speaking. Once they get over focusing on what they don’t understand and focus on what they do, they will increase their ability to get into the English-speaking community.

Pre discussion

Let’s hypothesize…Why do you think Turkle thinks texting and emailing are making us more isolated?
Make a pros and cons list for digital communication
What is the difference between isolation and solitude?
What is the difference between friendship and companionship?

The Video: TED Sherry Turkle: Connected but Alone?

There is a ton of stuff to talk about here. And rather than try to Tell Back everything Turkle says (although you are free to do that), I would jump right into the discussion with some of the following key ideas:

“We want to customize our lives and control where we put our attention”
“We are getting used to being alone…together”
“We are compromising companionship for friendship”
“We have an illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship”
“We can’t get enough of each other, at a distance, in amounts we can control”
“We use technology to manage our relationships in ways we can comfortably control”
Technology is satisfying 3 basic fantasies:
- We can put our attention where we want it to be
- We will always be hear
- We will never be alone
“Being alone feels like a problem that needs to be solved”
“I share therefore I am”
“Connection is creating isolation”
“We need to cultivate the capacity for solitude”
“We need to build a self-aware relationship with technology”

And I could go on and on pulling quotes from this video. Turkle is articulate, astute and a fantastic social analyst.

I am ready to admit that I am getting caught in the fray of convenience, but short of stopping (which is not going to happen) Turkle has helped me see where I might be more self-aware.

I hope you enjoy talking about this as much as me and my students.

7 types of icebreakers that will get your students laughing, thinking and connecting

The art of asking the perfect question is my own personal Mona Lisa. It is the element in my practice that I am always improving and perfecting. In fact, I even made a little video about some of the cognitive elements involved in questions.

Let go of perfection

Crafting a perfect question takes audience intuition, subject knowledge and most of all genuine curiosity about the result. But getting it right can be a mix of experience, trial and error and just plain luck. Jump in with something you find interesting and see where it takes you.

Have my questions bombed? Oh yes. Have I had the uncomfortably long blank stare? Yep. I have even been asked why on earth I would ask such a boring question. Ouch.

Most of all, when you are ‘on’ and right in the middle of a lesson, you need a certain amount of preparation, as well as have enough spontaneity to roll with the group if they want to go another way.

listen for patterns

It is the simplest yet the most powerful tool to see how articulate and fluid your students are. If you can, try to set an intention for what you listen for. Perhaps you can focus on speaking patterns like verbs, or use of modals, or vocabulary from previous lessons. If you notice mistakes, try to pick the most prevalent pattern and then give it some attention. Or perhaps you notice that the students are incorporating a bunch of previously learned vocabulary–make sure you point it out and praise them.

Question Tag-You’re it!

During the COVID confinement, I taught an online conversation course with about 10 students at a time. To allow everyone to speak, we played a game I called “question-tag”.

Students choose a question from the list and ask another classmate. Then that classmate is “it” and chooses the next question and classmate. Simple concept, but it puts the control in the students’ hands and adds just a touch of suspense to keep people engaged.

Want to play…You can use these 7 types of icebreakers to get going. The questions are meant as a corporate team-building exercise. Thus they are authentic and funny. Let me know how it turns out.

13 resources for ice-breaker questions

Need a good question to break the ice? I got you covered.

I’m sure you have experienced it. First day of ESL class, you plan an icebreaker activity, launch the question and you get the dreaded silent stares. What do you do, let them stew with the question and stand your ground, or come up with a follow-up question? Do you let them see you sweat, or pretend that that is what you wanted because you want them to think? “Please, please kind extroverted student somewhere out there in the crowd, get me out of this.”

Icebreaker activities always make me nervous. It’s often the first class, you don’t know your group, the chemistry is not established, you may not know their level and they are usually a bit shy. However, they are in an English second language class to develop their language skills, so it’s my job to warm them up and find some interesting questions that can inspire conversation.

I collect icebreakers like some people collect jewelry or stamps. I am always looking for creative, thought-provoking, not too deep, not too personal questions that people enjoy answering.

To me, it’s reminiscent of a high school dance where everyone is waiting for that great song that gets people on the dance floor. You can let loose and get lost in the crowd. Thus in my ESL class, I am a DJ of questions. When one doesn’t get the party going, I have plenty of others.

For your party…I mean class…needs, here are my best sources.

ICEBREAKERS

What does your day look like in pictures?

Challenge your student to take pictures of a day in their lives. Eating, travelling, working, whatever makes up their day. Then you can do a series of “show and tells” with the photos. To make the activity even more engaging, I always suggest that the listeners should think of one or two questions to ask the presenters after the presentation is done. This will make the listening more active and get the speakers to dig a little deeper.

Try something new for 30 days

I recently read the book The Midnight Library by Matt Haig. In the book, the main character visits a library in a parallel dimension where each book represents one of her possible lives…should she have made different choices. The journey takes us into multiple different versions of this character, Nora Seed. She is a rock star, a mother, a glaciologist, an Olympic swimmer, a philosophy professor and the list goes on. In each life, Seed has the luxury of measuring the level of happiness and fulfillment the different paths procure her.

What if

It is the classic “what if”, question. Of course, it got me thinking of my own life. Then, instead of delving into regretted choices or getting depressed about what could have been, I thought of this TED talk by Matt Cutts: Try something new for 30 days. Since we cannot travel into parallel universes to see what could have been, Cutts’ idea is the next best thing.

Parallel Lives for 30 Days

We have all heard it before, we must step out of our comfort zone to grow…right? Cutt’s takes this to the next level with his self-imposed 30-day challenge. What I like about Cutt’s talk, is it gives a more tangible objective to this idea of trying new things. It may not be as profound as the Midnight Library, but it’s a start. After all, what’s 30 days?

Warm-up

What new thing would you like to try but haven’t yet?
What does it mean to “step out of your comfort zone”?
What are the benefits of doing new things? Any disadvantages?
What are the benefits of sticking with what you know? Any disadvantages?

The Video: Try something new for 30 days

Discussion Questions

Why does Matt think this is a good idea?
What did it change in his life?
What areas of our lives could we apply this to? Make a Mind Map…
Do you have any spontaneous ideas that you might like to try for 30 days?

Is too much choice making us unhappy?

Level: B2, C1	Language focus: modal auxiliaries, expressing opinions, questions
Exercise: Discussion questions in the post	Media: video

As a parent, I find I am sometimes in a sad little loop of not feeling good enough, looking for parenting advice, then trying that advice and being exhausted by the amount of energy it takes to be that good version of myself and returning to square one.

One example of this is the choice paradox. Many parenting books will tell you it’s a good practice to give your children choices rather than always dictating. Like when kids are picky eaters, give them a choice of vegetables. Or when they put up a fuss to get their winter clothes on, give them a choice of mittens, scarves and hats. The premise is that children resist because they need to have freedom (or the illusion of it). If you have tried this parenting method, you know that it will only take you so far before you are exhausted and your kids figure out that the options don’t really interest them.

Retail and marketing also leverage this concept as a key selling point. Seemingly attractive retailers are often those who offer choices, variety and options. But is this making our lives easier or more complicated? Are we making ourselves exhausted with the number of choices and like our children coming to the conclusion that many options just don’t interest us that much? Barry Schwartz’s Ted Talk questions whether we, like our children, are just under the illusion of freedom when in reality we are simply more confused and eventually disengaged.

Warm up

I suggest you start the lesson by torturing your students with these Would you Rather statements. Perhaps pair them up and have them discuss their choices. Then, mix it up a bit and ask the other person to choose for you. Did you like letting someone choose? Did you agree?

The video: The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz

I suggest you watch this in small snippets and do short Tell Backs along the way.

What concepts stand out in Schwartz’s talk?

What are the advantages of choice?

What are the two negative effects?

Why do we need experts?

What do you think Schwartz is telling us with the way he is dressed?

What are some of the events in his life that led to this conclusion?

Can you think of events in your life where you would have preferred to have less choice?

What are questions you have that you would prefer someone make a decision for you?

Talk about a choice you made that may have been ‘not good enough’ . What consequences did it have on your life?

What’s the weather today?

I love talking about the weather. It is the easiest way to initiate a conversation with a stranger or acquaintance if you need to break the silence. Great for elevator rides, spontaneous waiting time and warm repartee.

It is also a ubiquitous element that can have multiple impacts on our lives. Indeed a rainy day, bright sun, or a snowstorm will change how we dress, the meals we eat, the activities we plan and perhaps how we get to work. Personally, I check the weather every morning because I take my bike to work–even in winter.

Moreover, I find weather phenomena fascinating. Tsunamis, earthquakes, tornadoes, nature has a way of reminding us who is really in control. Beautiful, powerful, terrifying the planet is a person. She breathes, she aches and she speaks. Are we listening?

This particular discussion lesson goes from general to scientific to silly. The objective is to elicit the vocabulary around a familiar topic and add a level of complexity with either the science behind weather or weather-related expressions. I just couldn’t choose, so I put everything.

Pre discussion

What are the different types of weather or climate you can name?
What affects the weather?
How does the weather make you feel? When it rains, when it is sunny, when the snow falls…
Do you use the weather forecast to plan activities?
What activities do you do in spring, summer, fall and winter?
What are the seasons like in your country?

Option 1: The Video: The Science of Weather

Divide the video into 2 or 3 segments and do a Tell Back of the main themes and words
How do meteorologists sort through information, identify trends, and make predictions?
Why do they often get it wrong?
Why is it important to predict the weather?

Option 2: Weather idioms

For this, I made a handout and some flashcards. They are on Teachers Pay Teachers TPT. Click to go see.

Why do new years resolutions fail?

Level: B1, B2, C1
Exercise: Comprehension questions included int he post

Language focus: past tense, future tense, behaviours, habits, modals
Media: Video

I know, I know…it’s a cliché to talk about new year’s resolutions in January, but I think it still makes for a good introspective discussion. And if you angle it right, you are creating a great natural context to use the past and futur tense.

Did you know that January comes from the Roman God Janus. He had two faces: one facing back to reflect on the past and one facing forward to think about the future. Watch this PBS video snippet about why new years resolutions fail (3.22 min.).

Warm up

Get the brain juices going with this questions: what was the wackiest resolution you have ever taken? e.g. exercise twice a day, quit drinking red wine forever, get a pet, etc. If you need some inspiration, check out this list. 63 Funny New Year’s Resolution
Then make some predictions: What are some of the features of new years goals that make them difficult to achieve?

The Video: PBS Learning Media Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail

It is a relatively short presentation so depending on the level of you students you could watch the whole thing or cut it up.

Video Comprehension Questions

First do a Tell Back of the video and write down all the key vocabulary and concepts.
Why do resolutions fail?
What are the “psychological traps” that make resolutions difficult?
Why can making resolutions be bad for us?
How can we make “smart” resolutions? In other words, what are the features of good resolutions?
What do you think about the presenters’ t-shirt (I threw that in just for fun)

General Discussion

What are some of the things to did last year that surprised you?
What obstacles did you overcome?
What were some changes that happened in you life?
What were some good books you read?
What were some good deeds you did?
What are some things you would like to do this year?
Are there any changes you would like to make?
Anything you would like to learn?
What are your personal or professional goals?

If you want to do something a little different, you could also have students do a quick mind map of the year and talk about it after they get a few ideas down.

Have a great lesson!

I would like to take the opportunity to thank everyone for supporting eslconversationlessons.com and wish you a great year full of fruitful discussions. Discussion is the tie that bind us together and breaks isolation, depression and puts our ideas in the collective. Mélanie

Why do we lie?

Level: B2, C1
Activity: Agree/Disagree on TPT ($0.99)

Language focus: justify/explain a point of view
Media: video

Why do we lie? Notice that I didn’t ask if is lying wrong, or whether you consider honesty important–because in both cases, I’m pretty sure you would agree that the answer is “yes, but…” or “yes, except…”. We all lie, a bit, or a lot. The more interesting question is why.

Consider the extremes. Do you remember the comedy Liar Liar with Jim Carry? In it Carry plays the role of Fletcher Reede, a pathelogical liar who ends up being cursed to tell the truth–all the time. Ugly hairdo, need to lose a couple pounds, bad breath, it all comes flying out of Reede’s mouth and needless to say it gets him into a lot of trouble. But it is also very restorative. It urges Reede to express more vulnerable feelings and gain more trust and loyalty.

So let’s try to unpack the issue. Keeping famous movies as a template, let’s say lying can fall into different categories: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. In the Good category, birthday surprises, and hurtful opinions, in the Bad category, making up excuses to miss work or homework, and the Ugly category could contain breaking the law, dark secrets etc.

The point is, how and when we lie can generate an interesting reflection.

Warm up

Do a Mind Map of the Good, Bad, and Ugly lies

The Video: It’s OK to be Smart: Why do we lie?

Discussion

Use the statements in this handout to discuss some of the key elements of the video.

How do you ask for a raise?

Level: B1, B2, C1
Discussion questions in the post

Language focus: personal caracteristics, money, work tasks
Media: video

Life changes. And more specifically, it gets more expensive. Yet sometimes it can take time for your employer to catch up. So how can you tackle the prickly question of asking for a raise? Barbara Corcoran gives some rather poignant insights on how to orchestrate this discussion. I think it makes for a great ESL discussion. Not to mention a more generalized reflection on gender differences in the workplace.

Adding Value

I often hear the term adding value in corporate settings. It’s often thrown around to mean anything from doing good work to offering innovative thinking. Basically, to be able to show you add value to your job, you need to have a good bank of things you do (actions) and ways that you behave (personal qualities). After watching Corcoran’s video, I invite you and your students to make this list using these vocabulary resources.

Courage

In the end, asking for a raise takes a great amount of courage. What are your risking when you ask? Your job security, your comfort zone, exposing that you are unhappy with your work conditions (which could prompt your employer to find someone else) and being told ‘no’. What are you risking when you don’t ask? Feeling underpaid, undervalued, feeling like you are working just as hard for less in the case of salaries not adjusting to the cost of living. If you feel you are due for a raise, it is the ultimate Catch 22. Damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.

Warm Up

MindMap the words related to money, raise, and reasons why we need more money?
Make a pro/cons list of asking for a raise.
Do you have any good advice or stories about asking for a raise?

The Video: Barbara Corcoran Explains How to Ask for a Raise

What are the steps you need to take to set up the meeting?
What are some of the differences between men and women when asking for raises?
If you are timid (and Corcoran says “woman,” but I think this applies to anyone who is timid) what should you do to overcome this?
What are Corcoran’s recommendations on how to use an outside offer to initiate a positive discussion about compensation?
What are her parting ideas about loyalty?

Have a great class!

Mel