psychology | ESL Conversation Lessons

What is your comfort food?

What is your comfort food? I dare you to NOT think of the answer. Too late? I bet your favourite dish is already in your mind. Maybe you are even seeing a memory or a person attached to this dish. Is it something your mother made when you were sick? Something you eat at Christmas? Is it sweet or salty?

Healthy…probably not

Chances are your comfort food is not too healthy. Right? Generally speaking, comfort foods are hardy, starchy and fatty. All great words that describe food. And that is exactly what you will find in this Insider Food video featuring 20 different people from 20 different cultures describing their comfort food.

But it makes me happy

Food makes people happy, conjures memories, and heals us when we are sick or sad and is often the heart of most celebrations. It is also a super fun thing to talk about. It ties in food, feelings, events and people, thus a nice integrated vocabulary exercise. The perfect Whole Language exercise.

While you listen

This video is chalk-a-block full of vocabulary, so I made a Google docs handout available through Teachers Pay Teachers to help collect the essential ideas. Or you can try this cool interactive worksheet. Of course, if you are working with more advanced students, you might want to ditch the handout and just let the students note what they can. Rember you can turn the CC on and slow down the video.

Pre Discussion

Just to get the food words flowing, do a Mind Map
What is your comfort food?
Why?

The Video: 20 Comfort Foods From around the world

Discussion

Which story did you find the most interesting?
Which dish have you tried?
Which dish would you like to try?
What do most of the dishes have in common?
What were some of the reasons the dishes were considered comforting?

Why do we believe weird things?

Level: B1, B2, C1
Handout on TPT

Media: Video
Language focus: beliefs, superstitions, conspiracy theories, fake news, disinformation.

Why do we believe weird things?

Fake news, misinformation, disinformation, these concepts are all over the media. We all know it’s out there, but how can we tell what is true and what is fake? First, let’s play a game…

True or False

Salt makes water boil quicker.
You should never swim right after you eat
Some people are more right-brain thinkers and others more left-brain thinkers.
Toilets flush differently in the southern hemisphere than the northern hemisphere.
Einstein failed math.
Humans and dinosaurs co-existed
Vaccines cause autism.
You need to wait 24 hours to file a missing person’s report.
We use only 10% of our brain.
Most of our body heat leaves through our heads.
You should never wake a sleepwalker.
Bats are blind.
Alcohol keeps you warm.
Sugar creates hyper children.
Your hair and nails keep growing after you die.
Slaves built the pyramids in Egypt.

In case you use this to generate discussion with your class, I won’t give you the answers. You could invite your students to check for themselves at Readers Digest.

It’s your brain’s fault

Famous debunker and Skeptic.com’s editor-in-chief Michael Shermer gives us a bit of insight into how our brain is wired to makes us believe weird things. He explains and demonstrates how things like priming and cognitive bias are natural neurological predispositions that lead us to faulty conclusions. This discussion utilizes vocabulary in both pure science and psychology to demonstrate, in very cool ways, how media can create what I will term “information blind spots.”

Lesson Notes

***Caution! I did this lesson with a high intermediate student and they were overwhelmed with Shermer’s speed. I would recommend slowing the video down and using this True/False handout to explain and explore some of the vocabulary and concepts in the video. Have your students read through the statements and make predictions about the possible answers. Then have your students watch the video to confirm or correct their original impressions.

warm up

Go through the handout and predict which statements are true or false.

The Video: Why People Believe Weird Things

Discussion

What makes us believe weird things…make a Mind Map of all the elements you hear?
Are you a skeptic?
Why don’t we listen to science?

Enjoy!

Mel

Do you believe in luck?

Level: A1, A2, B1, B2
Handout: Free on TPT

Media: Video
Language focus: emotions, actions, comparisons

Do you believe in luck?

I once introduced one of my girlfriend’s to a boy that seemed to be a good match for her. When I asked if things had worked out, she said no. She said he was nice, but he did not seem to have luck. She said it as if ‘luck’ was something you could be born with.

Is luck something you are born with?

That was such a strange way of looking at luck. It made me realize that this idea can be seen in so many different ways depending on your culture, your beliefs and perhaps your superstitions.

On the one hand, it can open up discussions on gratefulness, positivity and recognizing all the things in our lives that make us feel lucky…our children, our health, various aspects of our lives that make us happy.

Luck and Culture

But luck can also be explored culturally. For instance, in Japanese mythology, the Seven Gods of Luck are believed to have the power to grant luck. Hinduism, Taoism and Buddhism, also have gods or figures that are believed to bestow luck. I suppose this means that you can believe in luck like you would believe in god. Or that if you are unlucky, it may be because you don’t deserve luck.

In this wordless animated short by Mike Bidinger & Michelle Kwon called Jinxy Jenkins & Lucky Lou, yet another facet of luck is explored. Jinxy is a walking disaster. Every step he takes is laced with misfortune. He is nervous and unhappy all the time. Conversely, Lou is so lucky she seems bored and unchallenged. I will let you watch to see what happens when the two meet.

Lesson Notes

Warm up

When I taught this lesson, I used this template to collect the answers. Feel free to use it too. It is a free handout on Teacher Pay Teachers. I included the results of our discussion in case you need some ideas to prime your discussion.

Do you think you are lucky?
What makes you feel lucky?
Does your culture have any beliefs or superstitions about luck?

The Video: Jinxy Jenkins & Lucky Lou by Mike Bidinger & Michelle Kwon

Discussion Questions

What actions or events in the movie make the girl (Lou) lucky?
What actions or events make the boy (Jinxy) unlucky?
Why do you think Jinxy is so unlucky? Is there anything in his attitude?
Why do you think Lou is so lucky?
What happens when they meet?
Why does Lou seem unhappy about being lucky?
Do you have any examples in your life where luck was important?
Would you be happy if you were as lucky as Lou?

What is the worst or best rage bait you’ve encountered?

“A woman’s place is in the home”

“Immigrants should go back to their country”

“No doesn’t always mean no”

Did I trigger you? Do you want to tell me? Well then my rage bait trap worked. Rage bait is internet slang for when someone says something (usually online) in hopes of getting a reaction out of people. If you were to be scrolling through your phone and see a random video of someone saying something you absolutely disagree with, you might be tempted to leave a comment expressing your anger, however if you do, you are contributing to something much bigger than you think.

The judgmental monster in all of us

Rage bait use a very powerful human trigger: judgement. But by leaving a comment, the algorithm behind the post makes it more popular, thus suggesting it to even more people. This causes it to be more and more seen and therefore make money. Sometimes people use rage bait as a form of publicity for their own product. For instance, if you see something on Tiktok that makes you angry, and click on the creator you might see a link to a website trying to sell you something, this is one of the ways that indicate it is probably a scam.

A dark truth lurks

Unfortunately, among those who use rage bait for attention and money, there are some people who actually believe these ideas no matter how extreme. Can you tell what is real and what is not? I can’t.

Alpha, Red Pill, Conservatism

Among the more debated points of view are those belonging to the rising conservatism voices. One of the more disturbing trends is the Red Pill content that is gaining popularity among young boys. Seemingly an easy rage bait tactic–a thread dedicated to creating “safe space” where contributors vent their misogynistic grievances–it is also creating wide group of people who are inspired by it.

This scheme, used to make a small impact on your wallet, is making a much bigger impact on society and the next generation–a ripple effect that could impact the future more than you think. What will happen if the young kids, responsible for building the future, head out into the world with a mindset that was spawned from anger and hatred?

Discussion Questions

Have you seen or experienced rage bait?
What was your reaction? (see vocabulary below)
Now that you know about the algorithm, what will you do now?
How do you think rage bait effects younger audiences?
How can we protect them from it?
If rage baiters are really just trying to make money, is it really so bad?
Would you ever consider doing rage bait to earn some extra cash?

Vocabulary

Here is a list of words and expressions to help you express your opinions:

Critical:

Manipulative – This seems manipulative

Deceptive – The person is very deceptive

Exaggerated – They exaggerated the situation.

Out of context – That quote is taken out of context.

One-sided – It’s a very one-sided argument.

Unverified – They shared unverified information.

Neutral

Not worth my time – I’m not going to argue about that.

Ignore it – I just ignore that stuff.

Scroll past – I usually scroll past posts like that.

Let it go – Just let it go.

Angry

infuriating – That post is infuriating!

Outrageous – What an outrageous claim.

Disgusting – That’s just disgusting.

I can’t believe this – I can’t believe people fall for this.

So unfair – This is so unfair.

They crossed the line – That really crossed the line.

Surprised

Shocking – That video is shocking.

Unbelievable – Unbelievable!

Ridiculous – This is ridiculous.

Over the top – It’s way over the top.

Mind-blowing – That’s mind-blowing, in a bad way.

What makes you feel grateful?

Let’s talk about gratefulness: the good, the bad and the ugly.

Level: A2, B1, B2, C1
Text comprehension
Handout 0.99$ on TPT

Language focus: prepositions, vocabulary building
Media: Article and video

Is it me, or does gratefulness seem to be the miracle serum of the millennium? Everywhere I look, someone is singing its praises. Instagram posts, articles, scientific and not-so-scientific, books, shorts, reels, TED talks, you name it, and there’s a gratitude champion behind it. Want to rewire your brain for happiness? Gratefulness. Hoping to live longer, control inflammation, push away degenerative brain afflictions? Gratefulness. It seems to be the miracle balm of our century.

Authenticity vs. Gratefulness

Don’t get me wrong.–I am authentically grateful for many, many things in my life. I have genuine awe for little things, like the poetry of the billowy plumes that float over buildings on cold winter days, the comforting hum of my family bustling around while I’m cooking dinner, my dog’s deep soul-soothing snores, and gossiping with my mother. And of course, the sun–how can you not be grateful for the sun?

But there are days when stress takes the wheel. Days where you watch loved ones slip away into Alzheimer’s, when people say goodbye to their pets, their friends, or–unthinkably–their children. On those days, life can be downright cruel.

And you know what, I think it’s ok to let it suck. To sit with the pain and be human–without the looming guilt of neglecting your gratefulness practice. Life can be heavy and you don’t always have to look for the silver lining.

When the Clouds Move Over

That said–and I think it needed to be said first–when the clouds part and life finds its way to a steady plateau, practicing gratefulness (or as I tend to think of it–hunting silver linings) can truly brighten a day that much more. I also believe in the “practice” of gratefulness much like one practices meditation or yoga. I think we have to make a conscious effort to see the little things that make us feel safe, happy and comforted. Otherwise is it all too easy to see the glass-half-empty version of our lives.

But mostly it is a fairly easy topic to generate thoughts–and discussion.

The lesson that follows features a simple yet insightful article by Positive Psychology. com. I chose it not because I want to turn this blog into a therapeutic resource (except for me), but because I hope you will find the language relatively accessible.

Warm Up

The article features the Iceberg of Gratitude. I would use this as a pre-reading exercise and perhaps do a quick word association.

Read the article: What is Gratitude and Why Is It So Important? by Tiffany Sauber Millacci, Ph.D.

You can download the Teachers Pay Teachers handout for comprehension questions, or simply use these discussion questions.

Discussion Questions

Why do you think some people feel disappointed instead of grateful?
How can gratitude make life better for you?
What is one thing you have that you consider a blessing?
Why is practicing gratitude difficult for some people?
Why do you think some people feel disappointed instead of grateful?
What are different ways you can express gratitude?

How would you describe yourself? Here are 16 Personalities full of juicy descriptor words

Level: B2, C1
Questions embeded in the activity

Language focus: adjectives, descriptors, personal traits
Media: interactive quiz (reading)

How would you describe yourself? Tell us about you? Why hire you rather than someone else? Could you tell the class a few things about yourself? From job interviews to cocktail parties, this question can crop up in so many places. Yet whether I ask it or answer it, it always seems to create a moment dead air that can be a little awkward.

Being in the Spotlight

Even if it’s a pretty basic question, it does require that you expose yourself. And if you don’t want to expose yourself, well that kind of exposes you anyway. In other words, if you answer you have to say stuff, and if you don’t, well that says something too. That challenge basically boils down to the whole introvert, extrovert, ambivert dimension (see the lesson for more on that).

I Need More Word-Thingies

The second challenge in answering is of course vocabulary–which is what makes it a great ESL conversation lesson. This question will inevitably trigger the need for adjectives and descriptors. Once you have used up the garden variety, “I’m a hard-working person”, “I am perseverant” (because most language learners are), “I am sensitive”, even a native speaker may be at a loss for something to say. Or the opposite might happen, so many things start tumbling out of your mouth, you don’t know what to choose and when to stop.

A Little Preparation and Practice Never Hurt

I’m not saying we should prepare a one-size-fits-all speech that we learn by heart and recite anytime we are asked…that would be weird. But full disclosure, I myself have put some thought into this question and I do sometimes practice in my head…yep. I even have a first day of class version, a job interview version and a small talk version.

Hungry for Words

If you are hungry for words, one of my students recommended this great psycho-quiz called 16 Personalities. I use it in a job searching workshop to train students to answer the famed “tell me about yourself” interview question. The site is super well done, full of varied adjectives and descriptors and the questions are succinct, thought-provoking and fairly simple.

Warm-up

Read through the personalities with your students
Clear up any vocabulary issues
Have them predict which personality correcponds to them

Le quiz: 16 Personalities

Discussion

What personality are you?
Say 5 to 6 descriptor words you don’t usually use, but that you really identify with
Are there any aspects of the description that you disagree with?
Can you give examples/anecdotes from your life that demonstrate this personality type?

Which “Friends” character are you?

I know, I know, pretty cheesy. But if there is one thing I learnt from teaching overseas, the television series Friends is everywhere. So if you need a relaxing frivolous lesson, here it is.

Pre discussion

Which Friends character do you relate to most?
Which is your least favourite and why?
What personal characteristics can you associate with each character?
Which ones describe you best?
Why do you think this series was so popular?

The Quiz: Which Friends character are you?

If you have multiple students I suggest you do this quiz in pairs. Of course, you will need a computer, tablet or smartphone…

https://heywise.com/quiz/which-friends-character-are-you

Would you rather text than talk?

Would you rather text or email than talk?

It’s just so easy. I don’t have to interrupt anyone, I can write while I’m in the moment, I don’t have to hold anything in my memory, I don’t even have to wait my turn to talk. When the thought appears, I can just shoot a message off and my counterpart can react when it is convenient for them. In some cases, with my more talkative friends (and family members) a digital message is the only way I can get a word in edgewise.

Plus, I can re-read, check my tone or make sure I didn’t word anything in an insensitive way. I can edit. Digital communication allows me to put forth my best self. Great stuff…right?

Sherry Turkle is not so sure. Her TED talk Connected but Alone? takes a good hard look at what digital communication may be doing to us. We have all heard that technology may be making us more isolated, so beyond this statement, just how it is doing that? Turkle gets right under the hood of our communication habits and puts forth some thought-provoking concepts that definitely gave me pause.

This lesson is definitely for more advanced students. I did this with a mixed class of high-level and lower-level students and the lower level were a bit lost. However, I still recommend using first language material as much as you can to get their ears and minds used to native speaking. Once they get over focusing on what they don’t understand and focus on what they do, they will increase their ability to get into the English-speaking community.

Pre discussion

Let’s hypothesize…Why do you think Turkle thinks texting and emailing are making us more isolated?
Make a pros and cons list for digital communication
What is the difference between isolation and solitude?
What is the difference between friendship and companionship?

The Video: TED Sherry Turkle: Connected but Alone?

There is a ton of stuff to talk about here. And rather than try to Tell Back everything Turkle says (although you are free to do that), I would jump right into the discussion with some of the following key ideas:

“We want to customize our lives and control where we put our attention”
“We are getting used to being alone…together”
“We are compromising companionship for friendship”
“We have an illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship”
“We can’t get enough of each other, at a distance, in amounts we can control”
“We use technology to manage our relationships in ways we can comfortably control”
Technology is satisfying 3 basic fantasies:
- We can put our attention where we want it to be
- We will always be hear
- We will never be alone
“Being alone feels like a problem that needs to be solved”
“I share therefore I am”
“Connection is creating isolation”
“We need to cultivate the capacity for solitude”
“We need to build a self-aware relationship with technology”

And I could go on and on pulling quotes from this video. Turkle is articulate, astute and a fantastic social analyst.

I am ready to admit that I am getting caught in the fray of convenience, but short of stopping (which is not going to happen) Turkle has helped me see where I might be more self-aware.

I hope you enjoy talking about this as much as me and my students.

What was your best/worst first date?

Get your students to tell you about some of the best and worst first dates.

Level A1, A2, B1
Exercise: video with questions and discussion

Language focus: past tense verbs, embarrassing situations
Media: video

Awkward!

It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a first date. And frankly, I don’t miss them. There are so many ‘what if’s’. What if we have nothing to talk about? What if I’m boring? What if I don’t like him? What if he is the one? What if he is a sloppy eater? What if he is a lousy tipper? I remember my mind ping-ponging with random thoughts and situations that would probably never actually happen. It’s a mix of nerves and excitement, but it mostly it puts us in a rather vulnerable state where we are exposed and not fully in control.

Awkward silences, clumsy interactions, you just hope you can reach that moment where you can find something to connect over. Nonetheless, First dates can also produce some funny stories worth sharing.

Don’t mess it up

Splattered spaghetti on your white shirt? Spit out nonsense words instead of an actual sentence? Or perhaps you decided to break into a brand new pair of shoes that left you hobbling by the end of the night? Or worst of all, you meet an ex while on your date. I’m sure if you think about it, you can find all kinds of little horror stories that make for good memories.

Exercise

Work through the statements on this sheet and then take a look at the video to gather some of the key vocabulary.

The Video: “First Date” by First Date Team

Your turn

Check out this list of first-date mishaps and have your students draw inspiration or choose scenarios that may have happened to them. The first link features actual Tweets from real people. Some are hilarious.

Ask your students to prepare a little anecdote with some detail.

What were you wearing? What was the other person wearing?
Where did you go?
What did you eat?
What was your first impression?
What did you talk about?
What happened that was funny or embarrassing?
How did you both respond? (laugh, get embarrassed, ignore the situation, etc.)

Is too much choice making us unhappy?

Level: B2, C1	Language focus: modal auxiliaries, expressing opinions, questions
Exercise: Discussion questions in the post	Media: video

As a parent, I find I am sometimes in a sad little loop of not feeling good enough, looking for parenting advice, then trying that advice and being exhausted by the amount of energy it takes to be that good version of myself and returning to square one.

One example of this is the choice paradox. Many parenting books will tell you it’s a good practice to give your children choices rather than always dictating. Like when kids are picky eaters, give them a choice of vegetables. Or when they put up a fuss to get their winter clothes on, give them a choice of mittens, scarves and hats. The premise is that children resist because they need to have freedom (or the illusion of it). If you have tried this parenting method, you know that it will only take you so far before you are exhausted and your kids figure out that the options don’t really interest them.

Retail and marketing also leverage this concept as a key selling point. Seemingly attractive retailers are often those who offer choices, variety and options. But is this making our lives easier or more complicated? Are we making ourselves exhausted with the number of choices and like our children coming to the conclusion that many options just don’t interest us that much? Barry Schwartz’s Ted Talk questions whether we, like our children, are just under the illusion of freedom when in reality we are simply more confused and eventually disengaged.

Warm up

I suggest you start the lesson by torturing your students with these Would you Rather statements. Perhaps pair them up and have them discuss their choices. Then, mix it up a bit and ask the other person to choose for you. Did you like letting someone choose? Did you agree?

The video: The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz

I suggest you watch this in small snippets and do short Tell Backs along the way.

What concepts stand out in Schwartz’s talk?

What are the advantages of choice?

What are the two negative effects?

Why do we need experts?

What do you think Schwartz is telling us with the way he is dressed?

What are some of the events in his life that led to this conclusion?

Can you think of events in your life where you would have preferred to have less choice?

What are questions you have that you would prefer someone make a decision for you?

Talk about a choice you made that may have been ‘not good enough’ . What consequences did it have on your life?